Lucky Woman

Today, I’m going to diverge from my usual business focus and share some personal stories about luck. While the stories are personal, recognizing and appreciating good luck is fundamental to professional success and personal happiness.

At a high school graduation I recently attended, the final speaker told the audience, “There’s no such thing as luck!” What? These young adults were graduating from a beautiful high school overlooking the broad Southern California coast! The vast majority of them, perhaps all of them, are incredibly lucky. Is luck enough? Of course it isn’t. However, I want them to recognize and appreciate their good luck. They’ll also need to continue to learn and work hard, hopefully doing work they enjoy, to be successful in life. Here are the stories I want to share:

Appreciate your good luck! I might have felt lucky as a child, as a young adult, but it wasn’t until I worked with former offenders that I remember becoming aware of my remarkable good luck. I trained women in jail and worked with both men and women post-release. I wasn’t surprised to learn that many of the people I trained and worked with had abused alcohol and drugs. I expected that. What I didn’t expect, however, was how many would tell me, “My mom’s in that prison, my dad’s in that jail, my brother’s on probation.” Each time I drove home from a training in jail I thought, “I’m so lucky for the family I was born into!” I didn’t choose my family, I didn’t earn them, I was just plain lucky! My work with those offenders, by the way, was some of the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.

Make good decisions! My next story is trite compared to my work with former offenders, but it provides a simple reminder about luck. Luck by itself isn’t enough. I’m slim, always have been. When people compliment my fitness, I usually smile and say, “Thank you. I was lucky to inherit good genes from my mom.” One day my son overheard me and said, “Mom, you’re not giving yourself enough credit. You make good decisions, too.” He’s right, I do. I eat healthy food and I stay active. I am lucky I inherited good genes, but that isn’t enough. Good genes help (a lot), but fitness also requires a healthy diet and daily activity. 

Work hard! My final story might seem dark, but I hope you’ll see the lightness and love that I see in it. My mother was remarkably healthy throughout her life. At the age of 97, she developed pneumonia. She didn’t want life-saving treatment, so she was given morphine to keep her comfortable for the final four days of her life.  My sister and I sat on either side of her bed and held her hands. My sister told her, “We’re here with you, Mom, and we love you.” Mom made a tiny smile through her morphine haze and whispered, “I’m a lucky girl.” Those beautiful words were her last and they’ve remained with me ever since.

Was luck enough for Mom? Of course it wasn’t. She made good decisions to overcome challenges and she worked hard. Mom grew up poor, the fifth of ten children. When she was 13, her father died. She quit school and went to work as a live-in nanny to help support her mother and her younger siblings. At about 24 she married. That marriage produced my wonderful big brother. But, when he was 2, Mom climbed out a bedroom window with him in the middle of the night and left her first husband. She never told me anything about that marriage, but it couldn’t have been easy and she made a good decision to leave it. She went to Jackson Hole where her sister worked as a chef in what, I think, would be called a Dude Ranch today. Mom worked there as a housekeeper. That’s when my dad came wandering through with a camera, looking for work during the depression. She was 28 and he was 19. They married, Dad adopted my brother, and the three of them moved to Alaska, where they bought a photographic studio. The studio failed. Dad would later say, with a smile, “That was my first missed fortune.” They moved briefly to Washington, then to Oregon, where they settled. After working in the shipyard during WWII, Dad worked as a photographer, then became a sales representative for Ansco, a photographic supply company. His career grew and he became the manager of Hawaii Color Lab, then Vice President of Technicolor. All the while, Mom was at his side, a loving wife, helping Dad make good decisions, and working hard to raise three kids and manage our home. When Dad was 47, he retired from Technicolor and he and Mom spent the rest of their lives as artists. Mom overcame challenges in her life, but she appreciated everything she had, even when her family was poor, even when her father died, even when she left her first husband. She made good decisions and she worked hard. In her words she was a “lucky girl.” In my words, she was a Lucky Woman! 

Appreciatiing your good luck, making good decisions and working hard at what you love is a formula for professional success and personal happiness.